Reflections

Been lazy to hook up the old laptop.
So here it is, first post from the new one on a new year.

2012 was the year......

I drove in Aussie.

I had surgery.

I watched a lot of movies.

I had scars.

I watched a musical and a play.
I discovered Abu.
I wrote for a compilation book.
I bought a lot of books.

I watched Bon Odori fireworks.
I attended a company dinner.
I bought my own birthday cake.
I visited a cemetery for pure fun.
I went to work at 10pm.
I had my first BBW road trip.

I had a new bible and new laptop.

Lord, I'm thankful for the year that was.
Thank you for being there even when I was so blind to Your presence.
Help me to see the plans You have for me in 2013 are good plans; 
plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.
I pray that this time away this week will be revealing.
That You would show me again Your wonders and help me to find my way back to You.

I'm That Girl

It's a Saturday full of joy and happiness.

I'm happy for the beautiful glowing bride.

Really am.

Yet, inside somehow the bittersweet ache grew. The 'what-ifs' ballooned.
It didn't help that there was conversations that went along the lines of 'She doesn't remember, she was so young then!' or the ones that has 'The last time I saw her was at the funeral...'
It didn't help that it was so frustrating to be stuck with my dad who was wanting to head home since 9.30am.

I thought I was having a really good grip on my emotions last night when my aunt asked if I remembered the days when I played with the girls.
I suppose I'm thankful I lasted til we were on our way home.
The dam broke in the middle of a food court in Bercham over something as simple as food.
The memories that trickled in since my aunt asked turned into an unstoppable torrent with the dam broken.
Keeping the flood going on and off for the last 4 hours.
It's the strangest thing how going down memory lane can make one cry so badly.

In the midst of those old memories, I was trying to find one good one about this weekend.
And then I remembered;

The bride's hand brushed against mine as we stood for a shot.

Somehow in a jolt I'm taken back into the past, into another memory where I was nervous and miserable in one of those first visits to the now familiar family house. And then she came, took both my hand and the other cousin's hand. I was both relieved and puzzled by what she was doing. And she lead us upstairs just so she didn't have to go to the toilet there alone. The other cousin and I got about to shyly talking, falteringly as we wait. Ice, broken by the time we came down the stairs.

Best-est highlight of the weekend

The absolute best-est highlight of the weekend had to be...

Lying on a beach chair... 

Watching the stars...

Listening to the waves...

Enjoying a bottle of beer held in one hand...

While the other hand pets one of the many beach dogs...
Feeling oh such bliss from being slightly drunk...
Yet doing so many of my favorite things at the same time.

Second place goes to...

Riding in the welded sidecar of a Thai motorbike...

Giggling and squealing all the way down a bumpy slope...

Heart pounding hard from this dangerous thrill ride...
All by myself in the sidecar.

Third place goes to...

Watching the sun set after walking a long way to reach Sunset Beach.
The ball of fire striking a ray of light onto the sea,
as it sinks into the horizon.
Those couple of minutes was amazing.

Go away, emo.

The darn feeling won't go away.

A really old friend of my big brother came to visit my office as a recently hired IT director in Jabs.
Somehow in a meeting, he mentioned to send his regards to me and my boss came running over after the meeting to poke around about 'Oh, how do you know him?". =.=
I wasn't left with much of a choice but to suggest I walk over and introduce myself to this total stranger who last saw me 20 years ago. I even confessed that I don't remember him at all.
Which made my boss all excited again on what is personally, none of her business to know. *fumes*

And all he had to say was....

"The last time I saw her was at the funeral......"

Out of nowhere, that raw sinking emo feeling appeared.

Thank God, he kept it short after that and even deflected to talk about another person he's work with before.
I wouldn't have stand it if my nosy boss asked anymore questions.
Was so embarrassed at how shameless she was!

With this dark cloud hanging about, I ended up wondering harder if I remember him or any of my big brother's friends.

Flashing back to things like;
The badminton court where we had our assemblies and my big brother had his games on weekends.
The Fifth or Sixth Former's' party where I was a spoilt guest.
Chess lessons. (Which he somehow manages to pass down to his sons. Jeez.)
The canteen tables where my big brother dissected his rats and mice on weekends.
The female friends involved in that.
We even named a white mouse once before it was put in coma.
I always forget which table it was the mouse or rat died on by the time I have recess on Mondays.
In the very same canteen.


It would have been so much more easier to have met him on my own.
I would have asked a polite question or two and run for my life.
End of being nice to a stranger. And he wouldn't have had to mention the funeral.
My facial expression must have faltered at the mentioned of funeral. =.=

But I suppose I'm thankful he didn't mentioned anything about me in diapers or if he had carried me as a toddler.
Now that would have been so awkward.


It struck me that this is the first ever person I've met that knows about that past.
One that isn't family, that is.


I'm blessed with the now. With where I am. With Whom I've found I belong to.
I'm not playing the 'What-if' game. Not tonight.
Shoo, emo. Shoo.

The in-between post

I have scattered thoughts to blog.


~ I've read over 30 LBD.
Which makes it harder to buy any for my collection because I might have read it from the library.

~ Green and yellow nails makes me happy.
And so does laughing off the crazy antics to avoid scratches to the manicure.

~ Can't wait to open a card.

~ Christmas is going to be different this year. *taking a deep breath*

~ I have exactly half of this week's work week off.

~ Been thinking about getting a dd 65. Even of naming it Brody.

~ I gave away an old crotcheted scarf and got it back.
Sometime back, I gave it away because I thought I wouldn't be able to appreciate it like my aunts would. But somehow they want me to have it back. And it's a good gift of sort. We're in our 20th year now, as reminded by an aunt. Time flies. I wonder how many reminders there will be left in another 20 years time.

He’s got the whole world in His hands

'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart.

He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands
He’s got the whole world in His hands

I remember introducing that kid's song in CF the one and only time I ever lead.
Took me some time to think up the actions to go with it.
I thought it was brilliant back then.
Obviously it wasn't.
I never lead again. *insert hysterical giggle here*


Sometimes the safest route to take is the one you've taken before.
No matter how long ago, the milestones were there for a reason.
Songs of old rising up from within when nothing else comforts.

I'm turning so whimsically nonsensical in words lately.
I hope it has nothing to do with Nana's writing bug.
Maybe it's Bart Millard.

A letter from the past (written in loving memory of another life)

Found an old letter my bro and I wrote to Ko when we were kids.
I was amused over my handwriting, spelling and grammar mistakes. And I asked for ice cream all the way from Melbourne. Really a 'Kids say the darnest things' moment.

And it brought up fragments of those years.
The mention of Malacca in my bro's part of the letter, reminded me of the yellow soft toy dog and harmonica he bought from his trip. How excited I was to receive the dog and how soon after that one of the paw was broken and we could see the filling inside.

A dam of memories burst forth just like that.
I remember cooking Maggi over an open fire, McD meals we waited patiently for our parents return before consuming because we didn't believe they were ours, the teachers' room we'd sneak into during the weekends to find water guns the teachers had taken away from students on the weekdays, observing dead mice taken apart on canteen tables I eat upon during recess, flying front teeth, owning chickens, tortoises, a cat, a kitten, and birds on the window frame.

*SNIFFLES*

There was a life before here that was completely different.
That little girl deserves a good cry over once in a long while.

I'm Tired

of having such a long bout of cough and flu.
of being mad at irrational personalities surrounding me.
of being idle a lot.

Am thankful that I've been able to work from home the past 3 days.
For books bought and borrowed the week before.
For Giotto (some amazing chocolates from Germany that outshines every other chocolates so far, I think I meant to say it's right at the top of my list of chocolates right now.).

Am thankful for friends who comes alive when I need the slightest hint He still cares.

Am thankful for reminders of my youth. Convent celebrated Teacher's day today and sparked quite a few memories.

Was remembering those Boyzone crazed days. I miss SG so much today. Nostalgia.
Went through some videos of him on youtube. Too bad he died at 33.

And thankful that May is almost over.
Freaking June can't just get here soon enough for me.
Looking forward to non-existent, non-planned holiday that will probably happen sometime between July til December. If I can wait that long. A timeframe is sort of a plan, I suppose. >.<

Looking forward to working in a new environment on Monday. NOT!
Construction dust filled environment that I've been avoiding all week.
'Open space' concept is just bleah. What happened to having some little privacy?
I suppose it also means I have to find some better crying spot of my own.

At the rate I'm going, I think I won't even pass 200 thankfuls in a year.
I need to be more thankful.

Sound of Music

Watched the full 3 hours version on tv2 over the weekend.
It was awesome to revisit this old childhood favourite.
It stayed a favourite for many years because they recorded it onto a videotape for me when I was a wee kid.

I remembered every song and almost every words in them.
And it brings back memories of those days when I was trying to get every single lyric right by hearing over and over again. There was even a yodelling moment at school because of this movie.

It was enlightening, watching now as a grown up.
I enjoyed the beautiful lush sceneries, the detailed orchestration of the songs, the facial expressions, laughed at the 'reverse physchology' used and understood the underlying tones in the adult conversations. Things I missed out as a kid.
The only bummer was when they cut short the scene where Maria and the Capten finally kissed.
One measly kissing scene, and they censored it!

In a way, I enjoyed it differently.
As a kid it was all about the bubbly music and the singing.
As an adult, its a recollection of the past, yet adding so much more on to that.

Melbourne Macro Shots: Tudor Village and Fairy Tree

More macro shots!
This Tudor Village is like awesomely small. It was all fenced up and we can't get in.
So my macro shots were all courtesy of my brother's Canon.
Took alot of zooming and alot of steadying my hand on the fence to get them right.

The Fairy Tree was standing behind the Tudor Village.
It was a good thing that it was fenced up because I just wanted to touch every single creature carved there!
I had a hard time deciding how to photograph some of them, in the end I only manage to isolate out a few.

Spooky eyes in the dark. (My favourite out of all Fairy Tree shots)

Melbourne Summary

So here's a log of things.
It's a mixture of places and stuff I remember was awesome.

27th-Board plane-Nodame Cantabile 2 The Movie
28th-Highpoint Shopping Center-Yum Cha
29th-Altona Beach-Built a Bear-Lauren's birthday
30th-I try so hard to recall, but I can't seem to remember how I spent the 30th. Memory lost
31st-Urquhard Bluff-Great Ocean Road Memorial Arch-Twelve Apostles-Loch Ard-Port Campbell
1st-Footscray Market-Strawberries-Footscray Library
2nd-St. Patrick's Cathedral-Fitzroy Garden-Conservatory-Miniature Tudor village-Fairy Tree-Brunetti's-Melbourne General Cemetery
3rd-Birds at Sherbrooke Forest-Puffing Billy-Yarra Valley-Fergusson's Winery-Healesville Sanctuary-Dingos-Predator birds-Koalas-Kangaroos-Platypus-Dinner with Shawn and WenC at Palazzo
4th-Direct Factory Outlet-Unagi fried rice-River's Cashier
5th-Melbourne Aquarium-Penguins-Underwater area-Dinner with Shawn and WenC at their place-Sliders
6th-Federation Bells-Hungry Jacks-Churchill Island-Wallabies-Koala Conservation Centre-Penguin Parade at Summerland Beach
7th-Tram to Victoria Market-Melbourne City-David Jones-Robin Hood's Play
8th-Botanical Gardens-Shrine of Remembrance-Flower Clock-Churros-Melbourne Symphony Orchestra at TownHall-Allans Music-Casa Del Gelato
9th-Port of Echuca-Rocky the cockatoo-Paddlesteamers-RSL-Oscar's Wharf-Cuba Libre
10th-La Porchetta-Canola flowers and rocky fields on the way back from Echuca.
11th-Direct Factory Outlet-Highpoint Shopping Center Arcade
12th-BBQ afternoon with Carol, Mary, Shawn, WenC and the Ung family minus one-Chocolates from Carol
13th-Ballarat-Sovereign Hill-Candle Making-Gold Pour-Wheelwrighting-Redcoat Soldiers-Sweet Making-Gold Panning-Gold Museum
14th-Tram to Victoria Market-Dinner with Shawn and WenC at the CornerShop.
15th-Board plane-Letters to Juliet-Last 10 minutes of Nodame Cantabile 2 The Movie-Changi Airport's Butterfly Garden

Melbourne Flower Shots

Here are my macro shots of flowers!

I'm Home...

Been exactly that for a couple of days actually.
I'll probably spew out the details of tours and what-nots in the next month or so.
But am currently not sure how exactly to characterize a holiday that not only captured your eyes but changes something inside.
It takes a whole new level of maturity to be a concierge and to be openly discussing life issues for roughly 20 days.
Wanting to hold on to that and be that something more right back here is still something I'm trying to figure out.

How do I do this? Where do I start?

Feels like I'm walking on jelly feet.

Rest In Peace, Stephen Gately

I just found out this morning that Stephen Gately passed away on the 10th.

He was only 33.

There's a strange sorrow inside for he was

uh...

great entertainment

when I was young.

Although I'm not all that old now!!!

Boyzone magazine used to cost a bomb.

I'm amazed I bought a copy

back when it was about triple the price of Smash Hits.

I think I still have it somewhere....

I loved 'Shooting Star' and 'Don't Stop Looking For Love'.

And now he's gone....

I'm going to miss his high pitched voice.

It's not going to be the same without him in that band.

R.I.P.

A very much delayed post...

I finally finally finally found the courage to look through my photos.


Cuba Libre, need I say more?

At the edge, a kitten contemplates suicide.

I'm just glad this turned out okay.

Freedom of flight.

I don't understand.

Stripeys!

It was awesome, staring at this giant swimming so gracefully!

Little dancers.

Chew on grass.

I frankly can't remember what's the name of this,

it was just good!

Macaroons!

Self-explained.

*sigh*

Santa Barbara....an old gem.

Oh gosh!!!
The soap opera created before I was even born, Santa Barbara is on Youtube!
I couldn't freaking believe it when I found these 3 clips of Cruz and Eden's wild goose chase and proposal in the woods.

This whole portion was the gem I remembered.
Sadly Cruz is like 61 years old by now. Nearly my dad's age. So gross, the thought of that!

Three things stuck me most watching this whole chase and the proposal again was firstly, the Tennyson quote. It was my first introduction to poetry written by a dead old author, I didn't know about.
Secondly, it had to be the piano solo piece that started playing once Cruz look down into the clearing (in the 2nd video clip). That was the most heart-warming song ever for me at that time!! Over the years, I've once in a while had the starting melody ringing in my head, but I couldn't remember where I've heard it from. Now I can finally get down to playing it!!!!! Woo hoo!!!
Thirdly, the words "Don't be flipped". I couldn't understand it back then what it meant, I'm still not exactly sure now. What I do think is, those words didn't fit into that generation......hahaha!

Watch the lame, cheesy bits of soap opera from the 80's!





Love the song!!!

I'm back....

Too lazy to do any unpacking, but geared up for work tomorrow.

Summary of things in the past 6 days,

• Day 1

Mos burger-Mustafa,unbelievable amount of stuff especially the GOLD and chocolates! -PUMP, where Cuba Libre got me drunk in public for the first time....Woohoo but I'm watching what I drink next time!

• Day 2

Zoo-Imelda's boys UPSIZED, which was my first naughty comedy play....shocking experience but still a Woohoo!

• Day 3

VivoCity,German sausages,Candy Empire...awesome popping chocolates....yet another Woohoo!-This Fashion-Esplanade, where the rain+fireworks was a good experience though sadly made the jazz performance I was looking forward to cancelled. Was so tired I slept straight on the floor.

• Day 4

The Rock,Bob Fitts leading worship and 2 door ride-Chinatown-Holland V,dinner..ice-cream..and the amazing silicon baking utensils shop.

• Day 5

Toast-Orchard Road-bulgogi,macaroons-Furla (the freaking exp gift!)-Birkenstock (the most kawaii pair ever!), double Woohoo as this was so last minute!-Bugis,lunch-Lavender-Buenna Vista,near Holland V for dinner...superb XO Crab Beehoon soup.

• Day 6

Chocolates, chocolates, chocolates....


God is good, I had people who treated me so very very well! Thank you, guys!!!
No blisters from being vain wearing my Little Hearts, Muahaha!
And I prayed for the window seat on the way back because the girl by the window closed it on my way there (it was a bit hot) but it more or less drove me nuts....and I got the window seat! Hahaha!

One of these days if I'm in the mood, there will be pictures. At the very least of my Little Hearts.
Kakakaka!

Bookworm

Our house had white ants in the storeroom.
So on Wednesday, everything was taken out and cleared from there by my uncle, aunt and Dad while I was at work.
Turns out the white ants love my brother's books and half his comics while none of my old books were touched.
They have great taste.

Now, I have a dilemma.

Because my dad wants to display them on the shelves, and since technically most of them are mine, I should display them in my room.

But right now.....

I have on display chick flicks and Archie comics accumulated in the last 7 years or so!

So do I dish out the chick flicks and comics for the classics?

Not only do I have classics like David Copperfield and Ivanhoe, but there's like a bunch of Famous Five, and Alfred Hitchcock's Three Investigators as well!!!

Most of the Famous Five books are older than me. And I bet no one knows who Alfred Hitchcock is in this age and time.

There's a big bunch of cute encyclopedia material that's like from the world view of a gnome.

The set is called 'The Secret Books of the Gnomes'. It was very interesting and my dad brought it back when I was just a kid. Every single page of all 25 books was filled with pictures. There was even a gnome figurine that came with it, which I have no idea where is it now.

Then there's a couple Sweet Valley books lying around, bought during the teen years where everybody else were reading them and I had to have some of that as well....yada yada yada. Still when I read through one now, at least the material is way innocent then what they have on the book shelves for teens these days in bookstores.

Not to mention my Enid Blyton books on fairies, pixies, and dolls that comes alive at night.....

Man, those were the days when I eat, sleep and even in school I'd have a story book with me all the time.

So, which category should be on display?

The problem with old books is when I read them now, they are really cheesy.

Actually it's not just the old books, even chick flicks have the same old cheesy storyline most of the time. I can't believe I was reading that sort of crap some years ago.

The only books worth acknowledging are the classics, the adventure biographies....but that's not really my style now either.

I'm still a bookworm, no doubt about that, just probably not in season right now. Haha!

What the heck am I suppose to do with all these books?!?!?

A silly girl with her laksa challenge and missing angpows

Once upon a time there was this silly girl who decided one morning to put aside some of her angpows with her laptop. That same girl completely forget about them as the day go on and she runs around collecting more angpows. The next day when she was counting her angpows, she got highly emotional when the angpows just didn't make sense. At least 10 of them was missing!! How can they dissappear into thin air? It's just absurd!!!So she was fussing over it and it didn't help that there was no sympathy from the father nor the cousin. Thus she grew highly anxious and cranky.

When it was dinnertime she decided to have laksa, to once and for all prove to her dad (who have been taunting her for days that out of a hundred girls she is probably the only one who don't eat laksa) that it has nothing to do with being afraid of eating veggies (that's another story for some other day). The truth is she has sorta forgotten the true reason why she dislikes laksa so much. So she bravely ordered laksa, and ate it.....spoonful by spoonful.

Halfway through she remembered. All laksa should come with a sign on the bowl saying 'Beware of fish bones'. It's the same reason why she doesn't take desserts like red bean or green bean or the other gooey stuff (but that's also another story for yet some other time). Once discovering one huge fish bone, it was harder to swallow down the soup having to be extra cautious of fish bones. But she got through it. And decided that she was going to blog about the laksa. For she is determined to not ever eat a full bowl again. The after feeling of foreign stuff stuck to the throat is just darn uncomfortable.

Upon reaching home, she rushed to where she kept her laptop and took it out to get online. What an astonishment it was for her to discover a bunch of angpows with it!! And then she remembered and laughed at herself for quite abit for being so silly and forgetful before confessing to her dad that she has found her missing angpows. What was the dad to do but laugh as well at the silliness of it all?

-The End-

2nd Trip of 2008

This post have been long overdue,
I couldn't bear the thought of looking at the pictures and remembering all the lovelies I saw, things I did and the kids I miss.

This time round I stayed 2 nights at the newly wedded Kong Kong and Ama's place and 1 at Di and Mi's. I arrived on Thursday afternoon and it was a pretty quiet night hanging out at FGA KL while Kong Kong and Ama had their practice for Sunday services. On Friday, Kong Kong dropped me off at KL Sentral before working where I wasted sometime at Coffee Bean before making my way to KLCC as it was about 8am in the morning.

Dear Ama made me a chicken sandwich which was really sweet of her.
Although it wasn't in my plans,
it went along with Kong Kong's idea that I make my way to KLCC first, as they open earlier than elsewhere.

Take a guess how I got the shot above, haha!
Mi thought I had some function in Blinky that makes the shots that way.
But it was just the coolest idea I had while having my own little picnic of a breakfast at KLCC Park.
Bored with the way there's a million and one shots of the towers.
A beautiful way to start an early morning in KL.

It's okay.....I had a Bavarian Vanilla donut when I arrived in Pudu.
I still couldn't help take a picture even with a chicken sandwich in my hand.

Xmas is over, so I won't put a lot of my Christmas tree shots here.
But this was really imaginative for it was like watching presents tumbling down from the sky.

I managed to visit the Petronas Gallery where they were showcasing portraits of famous Malaysians in arts, drama, crafts, and music.
The title of the showcase was called 'Imaging Selfs', shots all taken by Soraya Yusof Talismail.
In a corner there was a showcase of sculptures in bronze with pieces of glasses in some and other sort of metal combination, by a sculptor.
And it was all really very abstract stuff.
Heck, I only recognize about 10 of the artists from the potraits.
But I just totally loved it, getting to linger at every amazing potraits of those creative minds.
And wondering how on earth the photographer thought of shots like that.
Being there was like a rejuvenating breath of fresh air to my imagination and the art-loving side of me.
This had to be the most memorable thing about the trip, besides the kids of course.

So after KLCC, I made my way to Times Square, hoping that Wendy's was open there.
Unfortunately it was not, and a shop I frequent there every time I go down to KL had closed down as well. So I had to make a detour to Pudu as there was still a branch there. It's my first time in years taking the public bus in the city. But it was worth it as I made my way back from there to Midvalley with this.

Blink-blink bag. Hahaha!

Finally! Burger King at Midvalley in the late afternoon.
The juiciest Double Mushroom Swiss burger ever.

The Gardens.

On Saturday, this was the reason I had to go down KL.

There wasn't time to take shots of the newly wedded.
Group shots are already all over somewhere else, much to my distractions,
so I won't post them here.

That night, once again I went for TSF and of course had my heart broken by these kids.

Kawaii and cheeky rite? These are 2 sisters.

Then there was him.
The ultimate heart breaker.

A serious contender for his cousin Charis.
First he won't sit or stand still for a shot.
And when he finally did sit down, it was to face me this way.
Ish.
But he did made it up to me later on by feeding me fries,
to my utter delight as I thought only his parents was privileged with that.

Arghhhhhh......I miss them all!
Dear God, please help me.
Let me see them again soon.

One thing Mi said that really struck me in the heart was,

Even as the kids are growing up,
I am growing older too...

Sigh!
Enough said.