Things I can't say...

Did you ever considered that offering money just lowers my self confidence to do any losing of weight now?
Like, all my life, my existence is already nothing more than a 'need to lose weight' mission to you...
And now to add on to that....
If I lose any weight - 'Oh she's now doing it because of money.'
How low and despicable can a human get.

Oh... and that scar you keep shaking your head in disappointment of how it turns out at?
BELONGS TO A HUMAN with feelings.
Belongs to someone who will need to carry on with it for the rest of her life
Belongs to the same person you scraped of any hope or confidence that she can lose weight on her own without money as motivation.

Should I have just died at childbirth?
You know...
After hearing that my whole lifetime..
How worthless I am if I don't lose weight...
I'm thankful I haven't died.

Thank God for Jesus.
For love, unconditional.
For brothers who are more brothers to me than you can ever be.

Promotion

I don't deserve it.

To God be all the glory and praise! 

I'm so thankful because it was so unexpected. 

Because I was at home, having soup past lunch hour instead of being in the office. 

Because I'm having a tough time at work and feels like I need to run away. 

Because this self been struggling to feel again her passion and love for work ever since the surgery. 

~

No one tells you that being under sedation would leave you knowingly not yourself anymore once it's over. 

That you would forget things you would have never forgotten before it happened. 

That the way you feel things would be different after. 

That things you were so sure of, you would now be in so much doubt of. 

So thank you, dear boss! For believing in me. 

Thank you for this borrowed confidence that I am trying so hard to be again. 

Thank You, God! 

For making this happen at this precise moment I am struggling in.

Because no one else knows me and love me like You do.