Mumbles through a mask.

"IT'S LIKE CUTTING FOAM. YOU GET USED TO IT"

And I just went, "But then you don't get to throw away like foam if something is wrong."

Well meaning aunties asked my opinion about why young people (like me) are not getting married.

I said something else that got interpreted into 'Scared of responsibilities' which lead to me having to expand like, to balance a career and household responsibilities and they just had to ask the other 'not as old as them' lady to give her advice.

And so we have this funny ending, where after I responded about the foam, another uncle (who also only heard partially) said we will be punished for throwing foams.

Hilarious day of talking through the mask.
I don't remember what specifically I am rejecting with the idea of marriage.
But I won't be surprised if it has to do with all that stuff from Father's heart course that has been good to me.

On death and reminiscing one year ago!

Instead of relecting how I admitted myself into the hospital one year ago yesterday, I went to the wake service of Aunty Margaret.

I always thought that you represented how old my own mother would be if she was still alive.
I remember Christmas dinner in your house with all the Christmas decorations J and J would amp the place up with each year.
I remember the stories J would tell us that ends with being spanked or punished through his teenage years.
Your presence was always that of both some stern ness yet warm and matronly.
Most of all you always smiled so brightly for Christ.
We are glad now you are pain free.

R.I.P Aunty.

~
This time last year I was in bed, done with surgery.
It was a vertical cut instead of horizontal as I was told.
Doctor said after that it was the most optimal cut in order to retrieve all the pieces and that was that.
Just two days ago, Keat caught a glimpse of it amidst playtime with Cushion and said it looked like I had a C-section.

I took another picture of it today.
It is amazing how the stitches and fusion of cells again can hold up all the rest of the weight of my stomach.
I have also forgotten about the mark from the drainage tube at the side as well.
Looking back now, would say that both the urinal tube and that one was equally bad when it was time to take out.

But the most fun I had was with the nurses taking turns to flush out that thing on my neck with 5 different points that they rarely get to see.
Also when they had to get an emergency nurse to pull it out.
How I had to lie slightly upside down and she had to pull it out in one long breath.
All while being watched by another nurse who was the only one with free time on hand to watch this procedure of awesomeness going on.
Was grateful to be a real specimen of study to the nurses amidst whole process.

Am also thankful that I had gone to that confinement home for two weeks instead of settling things on my own at home.
I know someone said it was like I went and stayed in a hotel but the truth was it was more than that.
Having laundry and cleaning done for me and being fed 4 times a day was definitely worth the money spent.
Seeing all those babies and being in a place where I didn't have to talk as mothers have so many things to share among themselves was good to my mental and emotional health.
It came as a surprise how I struggled so much to play a simple cooking game on the tablet in those weeks post surgery!
I also don't regret all the hours spent reading away the pile of books I brought there.

All in all, it was good.
God was, is and is to be good.

To know the unknown

I heard of someone's mum drawing closer to death and my heart aches.

I heard of a Pastor giving thanks for overcoming some stuff and my heart went Oh!

Somewhere in 2020 He continued to randomly brought people to my mind.
Looking back, I should have known better and reacted by something more...that wasn't just a fleeting thought of curiosity.

The battles in the spiritual realm is clearer than I would like to see.
God's people need people on their side.

Even though I can't explain them all...if it is to be, it just is to be.