A-Z Anna

Mother of Max, the character I've had a crush on since college.
Without her, there would have been no Max.

Anna just launched a new book called CoExist!

It's a very lovely piece, and I'm so proud of her!!!!

Get Coexist on Amazon or Smashwords.

Also, if you want to know more about Anna, you can find her at the following places:

Website | Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads

What it was like in 2015...and what is to come.

When I look back at 2015, I'm amazed that I've come this far.

I've learnt it's about living in the tension of things.
And living with those things called flaws in the people around me and that make me who I am.

Like one who is defensive of anything said, and another who is always late.

Like my anxiety. Or obsessiveness over details.

The tension;
Of letting go of some friendships, letting strings unravel a little, not clinging on because it is not my place to.
Of pulling some strings in closer even though there are so many fears attached to them.
Or just holding on occasionally, despite the tears and internal waves of emotions.

There's been so many moments where I want to throw a fit or cry because I am just so needy and selfish, but choosing instead to cry behind close doors and to talk it out with God have lead to Him providing for the moments. Him restoring friendships that I thought no one cares.

There's been moments of analyzing why I feel this way at such a time and just waiting for the waves of emotions to go out again. And to look back and realize later on, it was just a hormonal time.

There's been moments of realizing how situations are out of my control, and just choosing to believe He is in control in them.

There's been moments where fears seemed so real, where actually choosing to not let those fears escalate have lead to greater things.

There's been moments of being myself and not having any regrets for being myself.

And for the whole past year, I had dallied to sign up into ministry again. Only to come out of such a year, knowing I have a patient and loving God.

So thankful.

Which leads me to the things I'm looking forward to in the new year.
Having finally signed up to play again once a month.
Having a new air fryer sitting in the kitchen.
Having bossed some people around into sitting together for the first service of the year.

Frostbite!

Hahahahaha!
Yeap! Tingly numbness in all my fingers from the Target nail polish drying spray Nana helped me buy.

From the reviews I read online, I really wanted to see if it works with super thick and chunky nail polish. So I was putting on a base coat, a thin layer of angel color and red at the tips.
AND I blended the red down with thick layers of bluish specks until most of my surface was pink.

Then I sprayed.
It was already so thick that I didn't even put a layer of top coat because that would mess up my top coat brush.
It didn't feel really dry after the first round, just like lembik and dent probable.
So I kept spraying.
Then my fingers got numb.
I kept on going to the other hand.
And later I could see patches on the tip of my fingers where the color is different from being frost bitten.

But the drying spray freaking really worked to dry my nails!!
Doing them right before I went to bed yet waking up with them smooth with not a dent is sooooo amazing!

Now I have awesome pink galaxies to stare all day!

So the question is;
Am I willing to go through frost bite each time, just to get my nails dry fast?
This morning I woke up with pins and needles in both hands.
So...it's kinda scary to consider risking frostbite every time for the sake of nail polishes.

Looking back at 2014

There's been milestones of achievements;
like getting a promotion.
like spending 3 weeks in NZ on my own.
like bungee jumping and climbing the ice glacier.
like spending my 30th birthday with the one that shares it with me.
like building maps.
like getting the 3R award at work.

There's been silly moments;
like jumping head first.
like playing games and just being so clueless in them.
like buying a pregnant woman sweets for Christmas.
like discovering I've bought two copies of the same book.

There's been things that took time, and are still work in progress;
like talking to my dad after nearly 6-months of not.
like grieving for an Uncle.
like forgetting Cub.
like making new friends.
like counting the days of my mood swings.

There's been sad, bittersweet and joyful events;
like Ah Mah's death.
like Chor Kong's wedding.
like Ben's wedding.
like membership day.
like the day BG flooded.

There's been things that I had time for;
like doing A-Z challenge.
like making jellies.
like watching movies.
like making cards.
like playing board games.
like cooking bacon.
like doing community service.
like reading tons of chicken soup.
like playing because I want to, not because I had to.

All in all, I'm just so thankful.

It's been a good year of discovering me.

Seeing many moments of indecisiveness, rooted in insecurity, getting the best of me.
Yet at times setting attainable dreams and just seeing them come true.

Missing church and events so often that it seems outrageous.
Yet having so many moments of blessedness.

Staying in the past more often than not, going "A lot of things happened last year" in my head.
Yet believing that next year, I wouldn't be able to use that same old excuse anymore.
And maybe, just maybe...there is hope for me of letting go.

This is who I am.

I learnt today that my fire for Him haven't gone down.
It is small, like a candle about to burn out.
But He keeps it alight with moments of awesomeness oozing wax down to keep the candle going.
And there is hope if He can still do that in me.

Today in church, I learnt that hope is faith in the future.
So I shall not get ahead of myself for next year.
But to just know that He is for me. And not against me.

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014!

I managed to complete half the stuff on my list of 'Things I want to do in 2013' that I wrote back in January.

Some things that were up for debate was like:

Crochet - which I didn't work on but instead I knitted a pair of baby mittens and that had to count for something, right?

Drum lesson - which I didn't go calling about asking for but those Fridays I took off just to drum really have made a difference.

Among other things 2014 brings me to be;

Retiring candy prankster for a start

and

Retiring keyboardist (that is I hope, but whatever His will is)

And here I literally burned some bridges.
Stuff I do not want to cling to anymore.

One of the things I am looking forward to in my new year is a Totoro handphone case.

Like, freaking finally!!! 

After so many months of looking (and cursing a certain Chinese website for not delivering to Malaysia),

I've found someone who could make one for me. Right here in Penang!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for having been always there even when I am not looking Your way.

Thank you for the season that have been and for the season to come.

Help me to not look back anymore and guide me to see You more this coming year.

That I would anticipate with a ready heart all the good things that You have planned out for me.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Day Off

*This blog needs a good dusting*

Oh, the joy a good day off brings!

I admit, I've been so involved at work that I forgot that I was not working today until nearly midnight yesterday. I was even planning out the things I'll get done on Monday.
Which means I have tons to do tomorrow.

And I forgot to removed my production support schedule from a certain calendar, so it wasn't surprising when an agent called me in the morning. Surprisingly, I slept through her first 3 calls and woke up on my own before the 4th call. Manage to politely direct her to my US colleague on call.

 I was somehow unable to go back to snoozing until noon after the phone call.
So my day began early instead.
It was awesome to start my morning out with an hour long drumming while some cleaning went on in church on an otherwise closed Monday. I had a song to work on. Utterly bliss. =))

Followed by a good lunch.

At first after lunch, I was sleepy and thought I would nap upon reaching home. But I got to organizing my papers with files I just bought. And organizing those lead to cleaning up my desk where I found Stephen Gately's Tree of Seasons completely buried under a pile of papers.
I felt bad to not even had missed it.
So once I was content with the state of my desk which was like late afternoon, I got about to reading it.

~

The story revolves around three siblings; Josh, Michael and Beth who started off their summer holidays by investigating strange lights coming out of Merryville Woods. The Tree of Seasons is this gateway to four seasons' kingdoms, holding the balance of seasons in the mortal world. They ended up with a mission to save the world from being decayed from all-year round Autumn lead by a Queen that had witched herself into being their great aunt Graves who owns Merryville Woods after kidnapping her and kept her wrapped in magic. Through the tree they went to all four kingdoms and encountered all sort of magical and extinct creatures on their adventure.


At first it was hard to read this; I seriously couldn't imagine SG as a writer.
The acknowledgements, foreword and afterword was written by those close to him as the book was only published after he died.
The writing was stiff to me at the beginning, like it was still a rough version.
Or maybe it has this stiff British or Irish style to it that I'm not used to.
But once the magic started, it turned out to be a 3.5 hours page turner with a satisfying ending.


It turned out to be whimsical, enchanting and lovely altogether.
Bits and pieces of rhyming poetry as spells especially captivated me.
It was also endearing to read how protective and responsible Josh was of his younger siblings, even as he faced trouble with a school bully.

It's one thing to be a fan of SG's voice and utter cuteness in my days.

This book was like seeing a depth to his actual personality.
And at the end of it, it reminded me of that warm place in my heart for those days gone by. =))

~~
Since this review took some time to write, I managed to manicure my nails as well.
Doing all the things I love in one day. And a clean desk to boot. =))

Committed...

I bought both EPL and Committed written by Elizabeth Gilbert even though I've read EPL before.
I loved the rambling way she writes and thought that it would be a keeper.

Now I've reached a snag in reading Committed.
Somewhere in chapter 3, early Christian historical view of marriage (which was quite a few pages) is summarized this way.

Marriage = wife = sex = sin = impurity.

Therefore: Don't marry.

And in that same flow of thought; early Christians who rejected celibacy was seen as immorally practicing sex before marriage.

The way she backs her statements up with out of context usage of sentences from Corinthians and Luke about celibacy.....leaves me speechless O.o.

I know it's only an author's view, and I do not have any idea of how Christian history looks like based on outside studies.
Yet it saddens me enough to stop reading. For now anyway.

Reflections

Been lazy to hook up the old laptop.
So here it is, first post from the new one on a new year.

2012 was the year......

I drove in Aussie.

I had surgery.

I watched a lot of movies.

I had scars.

I watched a musical and a play.
I discovered Abu.
I wrote for a compilation book.
I bought a lot of books.

I watched Bon Odori fireworks.
I attended a company dinner.
I bought my own birthday cake.
I visited a cemetery for pure fun.
I went to work at 10pm.
I had my first BBW road trip.

I had a new bible and new laptop.

Lord, I'm thankful for the year that was.
Thank you for being there even when I was so blind to Your presence.
Help me to see the plans You have for me in 2013 are good plans; 
plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.
I pray that this time away this week will be revealing.
That You would show me again Your wonders and help me to find my way back to You.

Stories From A Place To Call Home

Happy Birthday, Nana!
Here's your birthday review.

Based on the musical A Place To Call Home, Anna Tan (Nana) has launched an ebook, giving us 10 short stories for the characters in the musical. 

Being Nana's first book, I'm super happy for her.
She has so totally worked hard for this and its beautiful how her passion for writing is being realized. 

Some of the stories in the ebook gives us an in depth look on how the characters felt about the central character Daniel being adopted into the Lee family. 
Since I actually watched the musical, I was delighted that I get to read more then there was about each character than what was portrayed in the musical. 

'Cock of the Walk' gives us a sense of background to the musical story. 
Like a prologue to what Daniel the main character gets himself into.
'So Surreal' dabbles into how Daniel is torn between seeing his prayer answered yet dreading what his new life would be like from the first impressions he had at the welcoming party. 
'Picking Fights' is one of those stories from the other characters. 
'Letting Go' sees things from Emily, sort of like the mother's POV. 
I felt for her during the musical. 
'Falling For Him' is like a scene from a girly sleepover.
I really liked this as it gives us a little more about the female characters in the musical. 
'He is Not My Son' is like the father's unmasking his disappointment with Daniel. 
'Leaving' gives us a little more background on Diane. 
'Closure' story is part of the thoughtful ending scene in the musical. 
'The Bench' is a sweet story from the future. 
'Dreams' is the ending that could have been. I would have loved to see the romantic scene, but at the same time reading the story lets me imagine it myself. 

Overall, I think I enjoyed it more after watching the musical. I'm not sure if I would be lost without having watched the musical. But then I have to be honest that I could be biased since its Nana's book. =) 

These stories were either in a POV style or third-party view. I like the third-party view ones better as I think the POV ones all have the same level of thoughtfulness for each character which lets you see how much thought Nana puts into each one of them but yet makes them somehow slightly the same. 
Having said that, I liked that there was both an Emily and an Edmund's POVs as it shows that a couple can see the whole adoption thing differently.

My favorite story of all has to be 'The Bench' as it gives us a happy ending of sort that can belong to both endings ('Closure' and 'Dreams'). Happy ending that equate couple did get together (oops spoiler!) isn't exactly the point of the whole musical, but that's my cup of tea. Which makes 'Falling For Him' kinda my second favorite story. =) 

Go have a read here. =)

Is it Reflection time already?

The end of the year is coming.

Christmas came and went quietly.
Slept in til 4pm after being at church til nearly 1am on Eve. Haven't slept that long for years.
So it was awesomeness!!!!!

Spool of this year :

If you considered Cody's retirement was part of early this year, I've somehow manage to play 4 different keyboards in this one year span.
I learned sound.
I published something.
I'm consistently fixated on my nail polish.
I haven't gone anywhere this year.
I learnt to kayak. Sort of.
And there was a funeral, ET day, BBQ, Bro's wedding, Fever and Nesa's wedding.

That I remember.

Last Post in 2008

It's been quite a year.

There's Blinky.

There's the finally-I-can-call-this-home.

There's A#, and along with him my sometimes-disastrous baking expeditions.

Two trips down to KL for weddings instead of one.
But it was worth it, for every single moment I had with Charis.
*sigh*

There's the hairdo. And some other stuff to be exposed next year....

Things have been more drama filled since I started Jabs.
It's truly been a different exciting ball game so far.

Spent the last 2 days with Mi and her family.
There was a lot of laughter at my expense just because I'm now at Jabs,
and abundance of good food.
I ate till my pants turned inside out at the waist!
I actually baked a cream cheese pound cake for her, but unfortunately like all my other cakes....the middle sank.
So I made do with just trimming the good parts for her.
Kakaka!

And then there was worship.

Looking forward, looking backward.

This past month and the month to come.

A time to die, a time to grow.

I'm looking forward to a new toy next month.
Hopefully Dad's super bargaining skills will get us the best price.
It will be an awesome start to 2009 if Clara will arrive within January.
Oh gosh, here I go naming it even before anything been made final!
And for once I'm going with a female name.
I'm so excited.
It's a huge investment, considering all my hard earned savings so far will go into it.
Take a guess what it is.

All in all, Happy New Year 2009 Everyone!