It is well

Was wading through the street barefoot today.

My jacket, bag and pants were soaked.

Had to drive Odie through the flood after all that.

Was so relieved to finally reach home.

A-Z Josh Yeoh

I have two albums.
One actually autographed.

I have a problem where I turn into a fool when I'm in his presence,
awestruck by how talented and God focused this man is.

This is my favorite song from the latest album 'Here in the Waiting'.
(It's the only song not in English.)

Check out his Youtube channel HERE and website HERE.

Power and authority

It's been a long week, having to work on some nights.
Struggling to understand what's on someone mind beyond the weekly brandishing of 'high' expectations.
And how to work from there.

I decided to call it quits on Friday and just crashed when I got home.
That night, I finally got some Pixiedust on my nails.
London is so awesome!
It actually looks elegant, instead of shiny fun.

I'm loving the strength of this song.

The same power that rose Jesus from the grave

The same power that commands the dead to wake

Lives in us, lives in us

The same power that moves mountains when He speaks

The same power that can calm a raging sea

Lives in us, lives in us

He lives in us, lives in us

Touch

It's fun to poke the devil's back.

When I'm confident enough to.
Hahahaha!

On another note...
I haven't thought of it for some time.
To play or not to.
And I wonder if Nana realizes that I have all those conditions because those fellas are awesome in my eyes.
Or that HE LIED and I really suck at it.

I lost the gift.

I'm no longer afraid to say it.
I was careless one day; lost my focus (wanted to walk off) and just lost it in the midst of a worship set.
No more ice cream room for me.
No more standing in the river, all the way deep until mid-thigh, feeling the strong current of notes with the tips of my fingers.

Like a bittersweet memory, the image never left.
Of standing in the river and my fingers in there.
The sweetness of the water, the intensity of the current.
It's hard to really explain what it feels like.
And seeing all those other musicians soaked in different heights but with one common goal.
It figures that I never saw Cub in there with us.

It still feels like I could be soaking in there.
Except I don't hear or sense the sweetness anymore.
Like it's been completely removed from me.
I guess the closest thing to reality would be like someone having an amputated leg yet still feeling like their leg is there.

At first I missed it so badly.
Like a flailing fish on land, I was so lost.
Many, many tears came down behind closed doors.
The thing with God's stuff is; it's up to Him to give and take.
There was no way I could work to earn it back.
And I was also so ashamed that I had lost my focus up there.
I couldn't discuss it with anyone what had happened.
Not like there was anyone that mattered left by then.

But now, what's done done.
It's all in the past.
Time really does heal.
And it's all God's doing.

Looking back, maybe I had cling to the gift more than I did of the Giver.
As painful and as humbling as it was, His forgiveness reigned long before I could forgive myself.
And I think I'm ready to literally (finally!) move on.
Or so He nudges.
Ever so patiently and gently.
When I try to imagine all the things that could go wrong from this one step, He doesn't let me.
One step at a time. 
That's what He reassures me.

And then, there had to be a song that goes with it.

I have a hope so sure
An anchor for my soul
My peace in the worst of times
I trust in God alone

Let every voice declare it now

My God reigns, His love will never fail me
My God reigns, He's ruling over all
In all my life, in every situation I know
My God is greater, my God is over all

A-Z Unfailing love

In the midst of everything, 

He draws me closer.

Tuesday cell was prompting about making decisions to be more focused on Him.
And I've been failing to take action of my decisions.
So overwhelmed. So tired.

Yet He doesn't fail.
He understands.
His love is enough.

A-Z Heart and soul

"Heart and soul, I fell in love with you..."

One of my favorite pieces on the piano, it puts a smile on my face every time I hear it.
And inwardly, it screams "Awww..." to my utterly hopeless romantic side.

I get embarrassed when I play this outside of the comfort of my home.
I would wonder if people think I'm implying something.

It is however also the one song that challenges my view of ever finding someone to fall in love with.
Someday I hope to be able to play this with him. *blush*
Or in my wilder dreams, he's playing this song to court me.
On a baby grand. In a hall with no one else.
Ahahahaha!

I blame the wishful thinking on it being a duet piece.
The repetitive chord progression would be so teachable!
And when a duet like this had such romantic lyrics to go with it, you just want to put your heart out and mean it!


*gets back to reality*

When words fail..

The unsaid truth

There are times where I have to admit deep down I miss playing.
And I have to admit to myself that I was wrong.
It is a part of me that I can't leave behind.

Sadly the truth hasn't outbalance the fact I no longer believe in serving.
I suppose thankfully no faeries will die from me saying that out loud.
I have concluded the end result of neurotic me being in that ministry will only be disastrous.
Much like the Midas touch, where everything turns into gold like a curse.

Yet the oddest thing is:
Despite all that, He still compels me to do other stuff that is good and right amidst the neurotic.
Convictions rooted deeper and sturdier than disappointments can shake away.
That I lean right into.
Knowing it's just between Him and me.

And that's just it.
Again it's always Him.
In all His sovereign.
Not letting me just be.

I know my year is coming up.
There isn't much time left to rebel.

Though I'm still trying. Sort of.
The outcome haven't been very much in my favor.


There's this song that has infused an old favorite hymn into it.
They build the song up and explode onto the words of:

All to Jesus I surrender

All to You I freely give

I will ever love and trust You

In Your presence I will live

It sparks an ember grown cold deep within.
Bringing up this little whisper of hope,
Show me, Lord.
Show me the assurance that I need.
Convict me in this.

Chilling rush...

I am totally enjoying these 2 videos!

I will always love you...

I loved you long before you met me
And then you gave your life to me
But should one day you turn and walk away

I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you, yes I will
I always will

My love will never cease towards you
But should I have a change of heart
It is because my heart has ceased to beat

I will always love you …

When all around you seems in darkness
When you have plumbed right to the depths
No pit is so deep I’m not deeper still

I will always love you …

And when the day has almost ended
When evening comes and walls you in
When there is no one else to comfort you

I will always love you …

Here are my arms for you to cling to
Here are my wounds where you can hide
Here are the tears that I have cried for you

I will always love you …

My love is constant as the sunrise
As changeless as the stars of night
My child, as sure as the returning tide

I will always love you …

Been in a new battle to not have/develop a Martha complex.
I said this in a NaF session the other day, "Dying to self, is not trying in our own strength."
Yet here I am doing this and that, constantly thinking what needs to be done next.
Either at work or in church, the same buzz is there in my head.
And then there's the constant reminder of what I've done, what I've regretted every time I see Cub.
It's hard to constantly remind myself I've let go; that I'm not paying the price now for what I've done.
And to just be that new person that God wants me to be.
Somehow it seems like to be someone new, I have to live a certain way now.
Whether in speech or in making nail polish or hair dye choices.
What reflects Him? Is this too much of me wanting my way, my colors?
Questions that drives me constantly on my toes.

It's all a mess I can't untangle myself from.
Certainly not in one go, certainly not in my own strength.
But nothing is impossible with Him, and one day at a time, one step at at time; I'll get there.

With this song above, I hear a leisure pace to hang on to.
Not to be rushed.
A reminder that His mercies are new every morning.
Even today.
More than anything, that I'm loved just the way I am.
Even if someday my hair is all purple and I'm putting on fluorescent green nail polish again.

So how does this affect worship today?
Last Sunday I abandoned the team, solely just focused on Him.
An easier feat when you are standing off to one side on the keyboard.
It's so hard to jump ship when you are on the piano, in the core area.
The tendency to want to keep a lid on everything, especially on the drums to drive us along is high.
But nothing is impossible in Him.
And to do all things, in His love, it would be whatever He wants it to be.
So here's hoping to find the balance in playing, in guiding the others and most of all in enjoying worship to Him later.


Lord, I just want to rest in Your arms.
Help me to surrender to You, this life and all that I am right now.
Because You just love me anyway I am.
Amen.

Early again 2

Early posts are turning into a trend, lol.

There's nothing I occasionally dislike most than when the piano is asked to do lead lines meant for lead guitars.
And today is one of those days.

The intro to God is Able is just.......>.<

I wonder when people will understand that it's just not the same thing.
The tension and speed required to move a pick from string to string versus the speed and pressure application to keys is just radically different.

On my part, I suppose if I have the proper skilled hands of an awesome pianist that comes from long hours of practice, then this level of 'trilling' would be a peace of cake.

And it doesn't help that this is probably one of those cases where on a music sheet,
there's a triplet or double triplets starting line followed by taugehs with dottted babies and what nots.
Yes, I've left the classical world so long I have forgotten all my terms.
I need a lot of work on my timing too to get those things right.

Help me to see it's about You, Lord.
And nothing about us.
And we will push forth even if the intro fails.
Because You are what we seek.

Uncluttered

From GiG.

Early again

We've been bringing sweet old songs back.
A song sang way back in my early days in CF:

.....
Let me find You in the desert

Till this sand is holy ground

And I am found completely surrendered

To You, my Lord and Friend

.....
And the depth of grace the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just let me say how much I love You 
O my Saviour, my Lord and Friend

Back then, we sang in F.
Today we are going to do it in D, because males can barely touch the high notes.
And somewhere in the lyrics, there's been a change over the years.
Where 'I' have been replaced with 'You'.

The fingers were remembering a familiar melody last night.
One unsung for years, yet muscle memory remembered how sweet it was.
How there's an undiminished 7th that makes things sound so much sweeter between a ii and the V.
And how the slightest change of a D/F# to Em7, making it a ii V instead of I V, can make such a difference.

If only my heart is in the right place this morning.
Not just to nail all the chords right, but to sing this from within.
For I know this declaration. I want to sing this declaration.
But would You accept it, coming from this heart that hasn't been putting You first?

To sing of surrender while life has been a daily battle of frustrations.
To sing of the depths of Your grace and forgiveness while I am with 'unwanted' mentality this morning.
To sing of loving You when I haven't been soaking in that love or walking towards You.

Something that I've learned from the concert, we sing to declare the truth over our lives.
We sing when we don't feel like it, because it's His truth.
And for any child of God, His truth is the truth that prevails.


Lord, let this day be about You
Let us sing onto You
Play onto You
With all that our hearts can
Yet humbly knowing that
It's never enough
Amen.

Early

*This is my 500th published post! Wee!*

It's 8am on a Sunday morning.
I'm trying to find the calmness to get through yet another session.

Another sleepless night, another waking up before the alarm rings, marks an anxious morning.
So here I am, early, hopeful that I'd break the spell, the tidal wave I know is coming.

What do words, and chords matter...if my heart isn't in it?
Because honestly I'm dried up.
Tired of yet another chord, yet another aim for 1-2 or 3-4 or 5 or 6th fingering position.
Tired of anxiously waiting for the what-happens-next signs from WL.
Tired of praying I don't screw this up.

And yet we press on.
Because it doesn't matter how we feel.
We, on the front lines, bring the congregation to Him.
We, put aside everything else, because that is our honor of our gifts on to Him.
That is the motto, the war cry for each and everyone of us.

I just want to close my eyes and play freely today.
I just want to hear Him and not be bogged down by what is happening around me.
I just want to play You that love song.

Just want to sing You a love song

To tell You Lord

Just how I feel about You

To glorify Your name

And lift it up above the world

Just want to sing this song to You

All which isn't going to happen the way I want it to be.

God of Second Chances

Palm Sunday song:

Ku mahu cinta Yesus selamanya
Ku mahu cinta Yesus selamanya
Meskipun badai silih berganti dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya

Ya Abba Bapa, ini aku anak-Mu,
Layakkanlah seluruh hidupku,
Ya Abba Bapa, ini aku anak-Mu,
Pakailah sesuai dengan rencana-Mu.

Dear WL,

Thank you for sharing the song's background with us.
Despite the spookiness imagining hearing someone sing in the mortuary, it spoke volumes.
If someone like that can have a second chance at heaven's gates,
how much more us who believe?
You were right, the song is now different.
Knowing that it came from a resurrected man, knowing that it came from heaven...
It's no longer just a sweet song of love,
but one of rejoicing for being alive again and a plea to be used by Him.
A re-dedication song of our lives.
A song of second chances.


This is Your child
Qualify me
This is Your child
Use as You intend to 

Worn

A 5 minutes note.

I just organized a family dinner at 6pm. Feeling so proud of Jing Jing. Hahahaha.

AM OBSESSED WITH THIS!

Which brought me to the below video.
This guy is awesome!!!!

Nearer My God to Thee

 

I'm loving ThePianoGuys

***

I'm going to trust in Your calmness 

Not by my own might or strength 

But by that reassuring picture

Imprinted in my head from You

That is Your promise

Come to Jesus

It's really pretty on the piiiiiiaaaanooo!
Had a blast learning this up.

Our song set this Sunday was right in all the right places.

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

You shine, filling us with courage and strength
To follow You.


More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than anything
I need you Lord

Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live....

God beyond all praising

O God beyond all praising,

we worship you today

and sing the love amazing

that songs cannot repay;

for we can only wonder

at every gift you send,

at blessings without number

and mercies without end:

we lift our hearts before you

and wait upon your word,

we honor and adore you,

our great and mighty Lord.

Then hear, O gracious Savior,

accept the love we bring,

that we who know your favor

may serve you as our king;

and whether our tomorrows

be filled with good or ill,

we'll triumph through our sorrows

and rise to bless you still:

to marvel at your beauty

and glory in your ways,

and make a joyful duty

our sacrifice of praise. 

                                                        -Words by Michael Perry