Time flies...

Saturday satire

Symphony of rain

Droplets becoming riverlets.

Pouring down, hitting everywhere.

Rain, without an end is soundless.

Glorious is the sound of rain on every surface possible.

Warm comfort food on a rainy day.

Somewhere in the midst of working 10 hours,
dreaming of work when I'm asleep,
are small wonders like today.

A glimpse of the blue sky after work.
A sight I haven't seen for over two weeks.

There's so much emotions going on.
From one end of feeling thankful I still have a job, to the other end of the spectrum of feeling overwhelmed at all the things to do are all these other emotions in between that I never quite find the time to properly feel it out.

I just want to address one that I can put behind me now.

A colleague left us yesterday.
It was quite a shock to everyone.
I was too bogged up with work yesterday to feel too much about it.
In a way I was relieved that she left while we were in the room hearing the announcement
because I just do not know what to say to her if she had still been there.
But today I've had time to reach this final thought.

Because you had thought to sneak off

without saying goodbye when you had the chance to, 

(unlike the others with immediate notice to leave)

then you must have really not liked any of us at all.

Nor the job.

All the best wherever you are.

Be free from Jabs.

Time for me to get back to enjoying the symphony of rain.

A series of blessedness!

#5 This turned out to be great!

#4 Thanks to Gabee, I finally had a chance to sit down with my Firths.

It was awesome just to spend 3 hours on a 5 piece kit.

#3 Watching Guardians and having an honest long conversation with my shift buddy.

#2 My dream to write mapping logic came true.

Not how I expected it to happen,

but just the chance to do it warmed my heart!

#1 New chocolate thanks to Vi!

The unsaid truth

There are times where I have to admit deep down I miss playing.
And I have to admit to myself that I was wrong.
It is a part of me that I can't leave behind.

Sadly the truth hasn't outbalance the fact I no longer believe in serving.
I suppose thankfully no faeries will die from me saying that out loud.
I have concluded the end result of neurotic me being in that ministry will only be disastrous.
Much like the Midas touch, where everything turns into gold like a curse.

Yet the oddest thing is:
Despite all that, He still compels me to do other stuff that is good and right amidst the neurotic.
Convictions rooted deeper and sturdier than disappointments can shake away.
That I lean right into.
Knowing it's just between Him and me.

And that's just it.
Again it's always Him.
In all His sovereign.
Not letting me just be.

I know my year is coming up.
There isn't much time left to rebel.

Though I'm still trying. Sort of.
The outcome haven't been very much in my favor.


There's this song that has infused an old favorite hymn into it.
They build the song up and explode onto the words of:

All to Jesus I surrender

All to You I freely give

I will ever love and trust You

In Your presence I will live

It sparks an ember grown cold deep within.
Bringing up this little whisper of hope,
Show me, Lord.
Show me the assurance that I need.
Convict me in this.