It is one of those days

.....where there's evidence you have been snitched on but no idea how much or what exactly has been told.

.....where every word seems to be a personal 'something'.

.....where hunting high and low for the jack adapter turned futile.

.....where dinner was served with only a pair of chopsticks.

However, I suppose there are still things to be thankful of.

35. Finally meeting Ivane and as usual, the delight of seeing old friends who are now in another phase of life.

36. Mist everywhere I turned while driving in to work this morning. Beautiful in its graveness.

37. Found EPL.

And finished it. There was no dramatic climax moment in the L chapters, the movie lied.
I may have to read it over again to try and understand the oomph in the L chapters.

I'm looking forward to making mud balls this Saturday.

Of other Happy Thoughts

Over the weekend, someone reiterated what I said about Rachel really picking up the keyboard well over this last few months.
That was real cool. With an added bonus for me being mentioned as the 'sifu'.
That was a really proud, grateful moment (#30), it's good to know that I'm not the only one that thinks that way. Like something paid off. Hahahahahaha!

31. Good pasta with meat balls and sausages on Saturday. Yum!

32. I can still cut my own nails without relying on a surface to stabilize them yet.

33. Backache gone overnight without needing ibuprofen-
Yeah, silly me bend over to move some pots for my dad on Saturday. And I didn't even realize why my back was hurting like mad until really late Saturday night. Was having a hard time sleeping, but when I did woke up in the morning, it was just so much better on its own!

34. Holiday tomorrow! Wee!!!

I've sorta misplaced EPL and a newly bought jack adapter, hopefully I'll find both by the end of this week.

If I were to get another pair of Birks next month, it would mean I'd have spent over 300 on shoes this year.
I wonder if the average female actually spend that much money on shoes each year or I'm on the over the board range.

On top of that, I was earlier on also considering getting a $469 pair of Sennheiser wireless headphones.....
After some time, I finally decided that it was too insane to pull off. But its not like I don't have a Furla bag to know that something as crazy as that can be pulled off.

If I don't get Birks this year, I have another excuse to go down next year then.
Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hilarity of the week!

"I am not in control of possessing a boyfriend"

Give this response to a junior I.Agent when asked what you can't control in your life and you'd be reprimanded like a child giving the wrong answer in kindy.
Well, she did ask for my personal scenario (more like personal drama for me!).

25. I am thankful that I find it so funny (to see how oblivious she was to how honest I was really being )instead of being intimidated. Hahahahahaha!
Come laugh with me.
Hahahahahahhaha! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Thereafter, when I politely informed I am not interested in what she has to offer, she went,
'Funny how you say you're not interested but you paid more for whatever Jail (my term, not hers!) provides.'
Which made me all the more thankful....as I realized.....

26.

I AM FUNNY!

I'm just a funny girl.
Lame funny is still funny.
I make people laugh by being me!
I also make people laugh just by laughing at myself silly, it's contagious.
And I am so thankful for the realization that God made me that way!

27. I'm also thankful I am able to fall asleep after having so much things to laugh about. My cheeks are actually a little sore from all the grinning!

That was yesterday, and I still find it funny today.
Moving on...
 
Today,
28. I am thankful that I have a crisp, newly washed bedsheet. It looked like someone IRON my bed!
That's how good it is.

29. I'm also thankful that I am reading part P of EPL right now. I only have left maybe 2 chapters of this particular stage of her book, and I'm trying to seize the moment and just soak and linger in this whole P portion, failing terribly as the chapters are just so beautifully deep they are page turners.

There's this part where she sat in the garden and let mosquitoes sting her for an evening hour as an experiment to be still and also test what it would be like to just sit through an hour of discomfort in her life.
Accordingly, it takes self control to not scratch or slap away.
Later she discovers 20 mosquito bites but the bites fade away in half an hour. And thus, she writes,

Eventually, everything goes away.

This is like an epiphany to what I'm going through right now.
Conferences are going to come and go, this one will just be 2010.
Heck, we might even not have to play if some good band comes along from some other countries
(it has happened in 2008, not that I'm complaining....was a worst fraidy cat then!).

I didn't even try to analyze and put it into the Christian context, but somehow just as I read it just now..... I realized the above and the hymn 'It is well with my soul' came across my mind. The hymn that we all so love to sing but not always honestly able to live it.

It's been a wonderfully eye-opening, much loved and thankful week so far.
I can't wait for what God has in store for me next!

Being loved

Waking up to yet another nightmare (involving a worship song...which is just incredibly outrageous) yesterday morning, I was ignoring the little voice that was trying to tell me 'When you hit rock bottom, the only way is UP' and other comforting soft reminders from that same little voice while going through my Monday morning routine.

The soft reminders turned LOUD and I finally burst into tears while driving to work when this song came bursting from the speakers (I've forgotten how much I loved this song).

24.

Am thankful that He knows this is what was needed,
to hit that outpouring of His love that transcends everything.

I'm not saying the stress, the pressure, the wish either to be Raymond the great or someone to just kill me isn't there anymore, but instead, I know He'll get me through this like no one else can.
I'm reminded that He loves me for who I am and not just for the gifts I can offer to Him.
I'm reminded that the focus is Him and Him alone.

Conference 2010

I had a more thankful list...but because I just got the stupid list of finalized songs.....
I'm no longer in a state of fear + numbness....More like they just dumped bricks that sank right to the bottom of my heart. There's only one way when you hit rock bottom, someone please just kill me now.

21.Oats. Yes, oats. Because my dad prepares the fermented version for me when I'm back on weekends.
It definitely doesn't taste good, but it's the thought that counts.

22. Diet Coke. Because there's this tv show Life on Mars commercial where the lead goes back in time to 1973, and asks a bartender for Diet Coke, I love how the bartender looks so puzzling and says 'Diet Coke???' because it didn't exist yet!!

23. Rachel. For picking up the keyboard so well in such a short time.
I'd be stumbling back and forth between Judy and Cody without her.

Now, if only I can build my empire of femme fatales in time for next year....

Ahh.. now this is cool! 115th Anniversary of discovering X-ray.