Early

*This is my 500th published post! Wee!*

It's 8am on a Sunday morning.
I'm trying to find the calmness to get through yet another session.

Another sleepless night, another waking up before the alarm rings, marks an anxious morning.
So here I am, early, hopeful that I'd break the spell, the tidal wave I know is coming.

What do words, and chords matter...if my heart isn't in it?
Because honestly I'm dried up.
Tired of yet another chord, yet another aim for 1-2 or 3-4 or 5 or 6th fingering position.
Tired of anxiously waiting for the what-happens-next signs from WL.
Tired of praying I don't screw this up.

And yet we press on.
Because it doesn't matter how we feel.
We, on the front lines, bring the congregation to Him.
We, put aside everything else, because that is our honor of our gifts on to Him.
That is the motto, the war cry for each and everyone of us.

I just want to close my eyes and play freely today.
I just want to hear Him and not be bogged down by what is happening around me.
I just want to play You that love song.

Just want to sing You a love song

To tell You Lord

Just how I feel about You

To glorify Your name

And lift it up above the world

Just want to sing this song to You

All which isn't going to happen the way I want it to be.