Wide Open

It's

anatomically incorrect 

to be intimate.
Yet it's too late to response.
Your disappointments shows up in the indifference.


I've

learned from the past

'replacement boyfriend'
'pet'
I would not be repeating myself.
Even though His mercies are new every morning.

It still amazes me how He takes what is broken and work things into shape.

Thank you, Abba.

The dream job title

When we were young and wanted a dog, it never occurred to us what a big responsibility it is to keep a dog.
Bathing, feeding, walking and training a dog...just wasn't part of the fantasy.

Now here I am facing the same thing with my 'dream' job.
I dreamt of building maps and trains, never figuring in all the PR aspect of the work.
Or how independent I'd have to be.
And how lacking I am in those area.

I don't quite know what to tell him.
I've been wanting it for so long.
Yet here are realistic aspects that really scares me.
And it further confuses me that he is rubbing it in about getting a fresh grad if there's an opening.

But if I miss this chance now, I don't know when I will have another chance like this.
Yet if I take it up, what then comes after getting your dream job?
Will I be content until retirement?

Most of all I don't know if this is His timing or isn't.

Maybe all these years I should have been building myself up to this moment.
And I haven't moved much more than a sloth because of how things have tend to disappoint me when I wanted it to move.
Like, this is the jolt I need, in the one area I still believe He is for me, where all else have fallen on deaf ears and hardened heart.

Or maybe I should spend more time developing the skills I need where I am, and only moving over if the chance comes again in a couple of years when I am much more confident in those areas.
That this is merely him being annoying, and I should resist from greedily grabbing this all on my own.
Like when Joseph told the king's cup bearer to remember him, only to be forgotten until it was in His perfect timing.

Toms

Over and over I imagine....
Me....
Up there with you.
Pulsating rhythms right through me.

Maybe they are dreams.
Maybe a figment of my imagination.
But either way all mine.

Mark the beautiful days....

I had a good pause at work with a lapse of work to do.

Odie carried a pastor and wife home!

Then there was a lot of kimchi for dinner!

Random thought of the day:

Being with five to six people, I am still fine.

Much like a band; 

there will be a drummer, a bassist, a lead guitarist, lead singer, pianist or another guitarist and keyboardist.

Sausaging!

Eating these today...made me felt like a sommelier that tasted different distinct grapes on a plate.

On another note,
Dear blog,
thank you for lasting so long with me.