This torment isn't forever

 The purity, essence and integrity of what it means to be a developer,
brittling into pieces when the line is blurred,
with giving in and submitting to doing the work of an Ops.
Why have we been reduced to this disgrace?
Why this despicable state?

Tell me O Lord, what wisdom have been imparted to have come to this?
Give me the same wisdom and understanding that I may know it is certainly from You,
and not from the vices of men in their perpetuous selfish nature.
Help me O Lord, to see Your will in this.
Help me know You are near.

This is Beth

 

 

After two long years sitting in her box, Beth is now freed!

She was THE choice made to that feeling that I was outgrowing my colorful nail polishes.

I wanted something that reflected a bit more maturity, a little less drama.

I am so glad she still resonates with me today.

Nude color is really subtle, I can't tell if it wasn't for the shine on it.

 

But nail polishes definitely was a phase; those days of going after OPIs and Zoyas are now pretty much behind me. 

I have not been keeping up with the dip powder stuff and new technology that goes with it.

Can't even remember when was the last time I had painted my own nails.

I had two nails painted in the last month or so only because Sonia had color changing ones that we were playing with when we had a meetup at their place.

I enjoyed today but only because I was planning it as a side activity to reading up an e-book.

Like, yeah I should open this new polish since my nails can dry during that reading time. 

It took me some time to get used to bare nails and after I did it was just a norm to the me with other higher priorities than my nails.

Maybe someday this would apply to my hair too and I would find the bi-annual trip for 6 hours at the hair salon to be a waste of time.

Until then, for now I am still very much hooked with the decoloring.

 

 

 

Starting the CNY right.

Feeling really thankful about jeans that fit even without trying.
Was such a leap of faith just looking at the length of cloth between the crotch to the waist and hoping that's long enough.
Its been the main trouble; not horizontally but vertically.

Am thankful that the last minute request to work on my night hours yesterday was productive and a success. At least it was not a request that prolonged until today when I'm officially off and so busy.

Am also thankful that with all the julienned work done today, my fingers are all still intact.
Thankful that there's a first time to making JHC, fish maw soup and making meatballs. Even though they didn't turn out as well as I would like them to, it is definitely a good learning process.

Thankful that this year, this house has become main house and tomorrow will be another round of eating.
It has been something at the back of my mind; like when would this rightful thing happen. And now it is here.
So tired but also so satisfying to have fed people today.

Namespace

I am not alone in doing this.

So thankful and feeling comforted that the One who sees the tears sent the one person who could help me to give me some clues how to figure it out.

Mumbles through a mask.

"IT'S LIKE CUTTING FOAM. YOU GET USED TO IT"

And I just went, "But then you don't get to throw away like foam if something is wrong."

Well meaning aunties asked my opinion about why young people (like me) are not getting married.

I said something else that got interpreted into 'Scared of responsibilities' which lead to me having to expand like, to balance a career and household responsibilities and they just had to ask the other 'not as old as them' lady to give her advice.

And so we have this funny ending, where after I responded about the foam, another uncle (who also only heard partially) said we will be punished for throwing foams.

Hilarious day of talking through the mask.
I don't remember what specifically I am rejecting with the idea of marriage.
But I won't be surprised if it has to do with all that stuff from Father's heart course that has been good to me.