Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Believing

More
I can't fathom why now when I am so busy.
When I haven't had time for a single drum date.
When I am envious of colleague's idle time,
not remembering when was the last time I was as free.
When I am not good enough to be up there.

Yet this Yes means more than just about that.
This is Yes I am surrendering the busiest day of the month to You.
This is Yes I hear You and I trust You.
This is Yes it's been a while and now it's time.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Tear infused work.

Some days some 100 lines of writing extended rules are beautiful.
Even when they are done with tears flooding down.
And on 5 hours sleep with nightmares to boot.

But for how long do I go on with this constant tears?
This constant dread of not catching up with my colleagues?
This thorn sitting on my side that distract me from my work every day, in order that she get hers done?
Is this really love? Is this really the dream job?

I don't know any more.

Friday, June 3, 2016

This isn't easy...

As we split our separate ways, my heart is at a lost.

To my colleague, the things I can't say out loud;
I'm thankful for the five years I've spent sitting next to you.
It has kept me sane to be able to talk and explain things in my first language.
Where you would get all my lame jokes, no one else here will be able to.
Where when you go for prayers five times a day, reminds me of my ever present God.

It will be different now.

UK - a month ago.

Can't believe it was a month ago that I was on holiday.
Work has certainly taken a toll on me.

There are so many things I loved about the UK. 
How it was all just so green.
How there was a plane taking off every couple of minutes.
How we would find at least one in the air anytime while in London.
How there were so many chimneys.

How all the buildings were just so prettily aligned.
How there were many eye candy almost everywhere I went.
How the berries, chips and chocolate there were so cheap.


Zip lining in the backyard of the place we stayed in Bath.
Once I got over the fear on the first attempt, it was really addictive to go over and over again!

Bath Abbey was a glorious place to have been in.
In fact, all their churches that we went to, had this old peaceful feel to them.
Even the ones with bodies buried right in the very floor of the churches in ancient days.

Bath was also where I had lovely bubblegum and chocolate gelato after dinner, 
as Nana and I joined a comedy night walk around Bath.

Chatsworth House in Peak District;
which had way too many interesting rooms,
pretty flowers and a stunning ground with maze and water fountains.
There was also acres of land with sheeps and lambs.

Peter Rabbit in Lake District!



The Castlerigg Stone Circle, a smaller version to the Stonehenge.
To just be there, touching those rocks older and so ancient, priceless!
It was super cold up there, 
but a dog came to me and sat at my feet for a few seconds giving warmth to my feet!
The scenery was amazing, and despite the cold we were crazy enough to had ice cream!

On one of the hilly roads to Castlerigg,
we stopped to look at why there were a lot of people in the middle of nowhere.
There were howling dogs in the cars, was a hunt or something that we couldn't see way in the distance.
We got showered with tiny hailstones making our way back to our car.
That was awesome as its the first time I ever got hailed on!!!


York, on our way back to London. 
Where there was utterly cute elephant tea tins, that I still think about.
They were sadly too expensive.

By then, we had spend quite a bit on Twinnings and Fortnum & Mason tea.
Which we went to in London before our road trip.
Coming home, it was interesting to find that I have a liking for the stronger bitter Chinese tea.


The truth is we went to St. Pancras station to look for them before our road trip in UK.
But I was so terribly shy to wait and play any of them.
On our last full day in London after the road trip,
I head out on my own about an hour earlier, 
and trolled all 3 pianos at St. Pancras until I was brave enough.

In the end, I played on not one but two, 
an old quaint one that had some ivory chipped off and this above that still had all the keys intact.
I'm just so glad that I went back there again
(or as I told Nana, I will regret having found them there and not played on any).

Catching a real show, based on Matilda by Roald Dahl.
It was quite a show with many brilliant child actors.
And the set! 
It was amazing to watch the platforms sliding in and out of the floor, 
and the different backdrops.


Galvin at Windows; a Michelin star restaurant we just had to try once.
Started off with the beef tartare, ending off with chocolate lava.
Awesome treat by Mookie!!!

And in the last hours in UK, we walked to a cemetery.
Hee.










Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Distant thoughts

I miss being the me that could be happy for simple reasons.

Finally figured out how things come together at work.
Pleasantly surprised how much like world building it is.

So many fulfilled dreams, yet more to come.