An adjourn from knitting

I didn't know I had all these bits and pieces to put together for my circular row counter.
I'm so proud of myself. Woohoo!!!

Another battle won

If sleeping at 5am serves it's purpose of exhausting my brain and the struggle within,
of quieting down the inadequacy in my heart,

I'll do it again.

Except sometimes that doesn't default me to a win.

Today was a win.
One I am very thankful of.
Because I haven't just struggle with this over one Saturday night like I usually do.
But over a few days of tears and tantrums.
Which spilled out into petty squabbles I am ashamed of.

I'm thankful that the objectives or reasons for squabbling made their points across though.

And only You could have done all that.

For all You've done.
Thank You.

10th August 2013 JerGlo Day

*the super belated long post*

I've been waiting for this day for years!
The ceilings looking a little like my dream about this day.

Of all the things, I never imagined I'd end up doing this for Slavedriver.

Sound.

I missed this kiss live!

CONGRATS, SLAVEDRIVER!!!!
Finally!

Dinner after that.

Where two innocents gave me their glasses and made me drunk. Lol.

Big Bro and family being there was like the added icing on the cake.

I'm thankful to have been at this wedding. And for the plans He has for them.
I could have been not invited.
A couple of months ago, we had a fallout.
We weren't talking to each other except on stage.
Only about two weeks before Slavedriver went MIA from church did we sort of make up.
I was so glad to just be there that I couldn't even be upset that the sound system was at a corner where I couldn't witness anything that happened on the altar.
For it felt like, I was giving the best gift ever. To be of selfless service to them on this special day.

I'm thankful that after all that I've done and sometimes reminiscently regret, this event rebuild-ed a bridge I thought would take a much longer time to rebuild. 
Part of me couldn't believe how at ease Cub was. How normal.
And I kept thinking, "Only You, Lord, could change a heart that once said "Sorry no cure"."
Especially at an event like this where I really was happy for the couple.
And didn't want to be bogged down by any negative feelings whatsoever.
It added to my joy to see Him at work, fixing this.

I'm thankful for all the people that I met again at the wedding. Each that had a special place in my heart.
I was squealing at this kid and that kid. How grown up or how cute they were.
And the number of hugs from everyone!
When I saw Big Bro and family walked in, it was like the icing on top of the cake.
It was like being at this reunion of everyone I've had the privilege and blessing to have known in the last 10 years. All at one event.

I couldn't contain how happy I was that day, grinning from ear to ear.
I wished I'd just die in bliss then.

The only time I freak out and got uncomfortable was when the group shot of TSF-ers was taken after the dinner and good old U.Aaron yelled for me to join. Somehow, I withdrew into my old shell and avoided going up there. Justifying it away as they are the TSF leaders gang.
Yet I couldn't help getting Cub's assistance to take the group shots as the official photographer did. Lol.
I still rather watch and observe from the outside.

There's only one more wedding left of this gang.
That of Chor Kong to Chor Ma.
I'm sure that's another blast to celebrate.

Happiness?

"Are you happy there or not?"
"If you are, I don't think you'd be finding Big Bro..."

How do you define happiness?
And how is it that this line of questioning can cause one to sob?
Does it matter where I am?
Because everywhere, there will be difficulties.
It is in those difficult moments that you can see God at work and develop the relationship with Him.

So why not here?
I know where I stand with each of them.
I know what needs to be done to move on.
Just whether I'm moving or not is another question on its own.

What do you want?

I want a car, and You have supplied it.
I want to drum and this question is Your answer to all the doubts I have.
Oh how I long for days where things are always as clear as these!

Thank you, God.