Marathon completed...

In total I spent over 34 hours away from home. Playing board games, with a few hours downtime for meals and 5 hours of sleep.

Playing the combination of cards from Dominion 1st edition, Intrigue and Alchemy was just such a splendid goal come true!
I still love Mysterium, despite again failing to win as a team when I am the ghost.
I'm amazed I won at 7 Wonders twice.
And was so relieved that I managed to not place last in Concordia, because it was tough.

With a flip of a coin...

...it was decided that I sign up for drums workshop in the worship camp coming up in August.

I have been debating the question for weeks.
It would be so comfortable to go for keys where everything won't seem so foreign.
But there was this weird feeling.
That tiny tingling in my heart, asking me to risk it all and challenge myself.

The fate from a coin was like a confirmation that this is the right thing to do.

Watching Hair the other day, seeing that bad ass expression coming on at every cool snare beat he made, I wanted to be him.
Carrying that confidence, that attitude.

I don't know how to get there from here.
Here being so many insecurities that have become my norm.
So I hope this camp will give me insight.

Even though it feels like church sent their best and worst (because Hair chose the same workshop), I'm not going to give a damn when that day comes.

Even though I know I am going to struggle with the terminologies and any on spot display, I also know this love for drums is real and beyond any thing I could possibly fathom.

The God with me in this situation will bear it all for me.
I will stand tall because this love is from Him.
My rock and my salvation.

Thankful...

For the good boss that always does his best to help me. Even to the point of missing a dental appointment while having a toothache.

For the 2nd Agricola game where I did not fall last place. Though I sadly slaughtered a few boars to survive.

For the map that returned into my hands.
And how to conquer the new demands on it, I found piling up messy lines on top of messy lines work.

For the constant knowledge that He is behind every single aspect of my life. And how I am truly loved and cared for.

The life I want to live...

In the 17th century world of Agricola, I had a good life.
I had fields I didn't have to sow, sheeps I didn't have to slaughter and a spacious house to boot.
I also made it through every harvest without having to beg; instead I enjoyed fishing and travelling where there's food given. Also the storehouse was plentiful and every time I took a sheep, there was also food to take.
And at the end of it all, I was also not in debt.

I may not have lived a life I should have lived; which was to have the most prosperous and productive farm. But I was happy.

~~~
I want to be that happy in the here.
To be able to withstand the pressure of cell, church and society's expectation of how I should live my life.
To solely trust and rely on His ever presence and providence.

I miss this day from 3 years ago.
When I went all out and just took that bungy plunge.
When I didn't care what people would think, or how worried they'd be. Or what if I'd died that day.

The Break up

Dear map,

I'm sorry.
I don't want to give you up, but it seems like my time is up.
You are everything I thought was going to be easier.
But turns out you are so much more than that.
At the end of the day, I couldn't understand you in time for your launch.

Please know that this farewell is breaking my heart.
I don't know how to move on the next map.
Even now when I know I just have to, it is hard.

You are better off in another developer's hands.
One that has more experience in dealing with your type
May you shine brighter in those hands.

Goodbye.