Where the heart matters...

Let's not take it out of context. 

Of two worlds apart.

Of dreams and wishful thinking.

This is a pleasant one though.

One that I would say Yes to.

As crazy as it sounds to.

Yet maybe I am just sleepy.

Just as he is being silly. 

Down the MBTI rabbit hole we go...

The supposedly 'fun' personality test done today led to some interesting unexpected results.

But it got me analyzing, they shouldn't have specifically ask about writing.

Maybe music or art. 

Any other creative options but writing. 

Because.... 

a) Creative writing was a course I wanted to get into. 

b) I had done world building once upon a time. Don't remember what happened to it, but I remember thinking hard and thoroughly about it. 

c) I still beta read for Nana, if that counts. 

d) It reminded me that I have a blog. 

So maybe it's time to remind myself to go back to being abit more NFP when I'm off work. 

The last 3 months and Sayonara

The last 3 months...

You taught us how to make salted fish meatballs. 

You spoke in all the old Hokkien that I have forgotten with the lack of use day to day. 

You taught me there's such thing as good days for haircut in a month. 

Even though I was there for your sake, you maintained old gentleman propriety all the way to the end, through and through.

Whether it was in making sure I got home safely, or telling me to get you if anything arise in the middle of the night. 

Or in all the meals we had together. 

The nyonya fishes you bought just for me and you made sure I was accountable to eating.

In how you tried sparkling water and liked it, Korean fried chicken which wasn't your thing and consistently still enjoying fries at the old age of 95.

And even to the very end, in how you worried everyone would be of heartache when your time was up and it was Sayonara.

My earliest memory of you is one in Klang where you asked me, or rather chuckled proudly, about your grandchildren. 

And of you in the big container lorry, packing away all our boxes and furniture for the big move back.

Despite all the proper rankings on your side of the family, there has never been a proper calling name for you, who is simply Uncle to us.

The hope was for you to have a peaceful death in your sleep and I'm glad it happened. 

R.I.P., Uncle. 

Turning over to the other side

There was a time when I couldn't imagine still being here today. 

Where the darkness whispers 'one slit is all you need', Your goodness have won instead. Over and over again. Every single time.

Thank you Jesus.

Without You, I would not be here today.

A decade old roommate.

'I love you'... 

'Thank you'... 

'It's ok if you want to leave'...

Bold words spoken last night. 

To the stubborn old 84 yo lady.

You stepped in and help raised me.

So many years of sharing the room.

Of locked doors and using the key. 

Of putting up with my shouting. 

Of my mess. 

Of forcing a cup of milo in before school. 

Of blue pea flowers.

Of laundry. 

Of marketing. 

Of cooking. 

Of sewing. 

Of buying my clothes. 

Of keeping house. 

It's because of you, that I learned sleeping on wood is perfectly fine. Because of you, I walk properly. 

Because of you, I eat daun kaduk and bitter gourd now. 

Because of you, no orh kuih or kaya can ever be up to the standards you have set. 

Or that unreplicable fried rice with things I hate in it as a kid, but dearly missed now. 

I'm glad you traveled to Melbourne with me. 

That you had that chance to fly and have a holiday experience on Puffing Billy and the 12 Apostles with me. 

Be free now. 

Rather then be here with that attitude of 'old already useless'.

I'm sorry I couldn't defend you or look after you in your old age.  

I rejoiced every time they shared a story and were annoyed by one of your stubborn actions or quirks. 

Because that is the only 2ee I know.

2ee with spunk and an attitude. 

R.I.P 2ee.

Thank you for letting me say goodbye.

I love you. 

12th June 2024